The human who inspired me to start this blog..I have lost to cancer today….

So what do I feel…. numb yet bordering on angry…

Just yesterday I sent the information of Dr Burzinksy to her husband in the hope that it could help her… but it was not meant to be..

My beloved friend of twenty eight years died today…

I want to thank her for ALL the love and friendship she gave me. She helped to make my life more bearable when I hurt… brought me peace through her high level of humanity… and much more….

Rest in peace my beloved angel.. I love you soo much…


Emotional roller coaster of a week!

There was a river of emotions flying around this week..

My friend’s 2 year old toddler who has had constant mucous running down her nose for the last six months since her last vaccination was diagnosed with pneumonia..

Another friend who is pregnant spent the last two weeks throwing up all food and sometimes water too..

Another close friend has had depression and has requested I help them.

It is 1:30 in the morning and I am waiting for my princess to come home. She went to a friend’s house to watch the Barcelona vs Manchester United football game.

I don’t normally wait up but I am a little delicate at the moment because this Tuesday gone she had an accident at home. She crashed into the corner of a fancy door I have that splits in two midway..

Anyway, the result was that she threw up and lost her vision for a few hours. It is at times like that when you feel so raw and wounded that you CAN dig deeper into the pitcher of

spiritual strength that we all carry. I did and prayed to God for her well being.

At such times as each hour then days pass by as your loved one is recovering one realises with a greater degree of understanding, how precious life is.

Her hugs are sweeter, I don’t feel angry by her “teenage behaviour”.. the way I have done so the last few years…

It is two now and I am tired .. so I am not going to wait anymore….

Funny that as soon as I typed the above line her friend’s car pulled up!

Her royal highness has arrived lol..


Hope you all are ok

love and light x

P.S Comiserations to all Man U fans…

The Truth: My anthem thanks to Joey Jay- May you always be “High on Hope” x

The Truth
Ever since I was a youth,
I have always been searching for the truth,
But having been told so many lies,
Life like good music never dies,
So the question is posed,
Only who in Heaven knows,
why is a man respected when he is dead ?
Should’nt that respect be paid to the living INSTEAD.

Alive a man is sufferer of no mean order,
But dead he has an estate to the value of a Million and over,
I must die one day,
You’ll all hear people say,
Yet praying for Salvation,
In corrupted meditation,
Storing up wealth, ignoring their health,
But, a tree is known by its fruits,
There is no life in lies,
It’s all in the truth.

How I Handle Conspiracy theories and Mainstream news

I recently read an article which talked about the fear mongering taking place in relation to conspiracy theories.

I think in general human life is very fear orientated.

Fear is not necessarily a bad thing. Fear can enslave you.. and free you too.. It just depends on how the individual or group or nation etc choose to use it. Just like any other emotion.. balance being the key.

The information is just may ring true to you or may not.. Your thoughts on the theory or news does not make it right or wrong..

I agree  that there is sometimes accessive fear mongering around certain conspiracy “theories” and the people who take on board these theories/ information and spread it from a fear based, “drama queen” stance.

I also believe that most of humanity is living in a climate of fear because of  “valid” reasons. Striking an emotionally poised response under such a climate  is not always an easy task …

Living in a “financially poorer” European country than England for example gives me a bit of an extra insight in certain ways.

Many people here in Spain are living in financial hardship, not knowing how they will pay their next month’s rent/mortgage/bills ..

I visited a friend a few days ago and I was saddened that she had only enough money to buy salad and vegetables for her child who is ill. None for the rest of the family.. Everyone else had a small portion of chips and a thin sliver of ham for their meal.. Many other friends and acquaintances get by on next to nothing..

On a positive note, the majority of these friends and acquaintances who grow much of their own food,  have simple lifestyles and very few belongings are the ones who seem to be doing ok, despite a tiny budget.  🙂

As a parent I can understand how such situations could build into rage and fear at society and the system for the average European, city dweller who is not used to a frugal  lifestyle and does not have land to grow their own food.

Anyway this article made me think about sharing my own strategy on facing f ear from all that is going on in our world according to  the conspiracy theorists, alternative media and mainstream media.

A lot of the information can be alarming and  frightening if one is not “armed” with a generally balanced emotional, mental and spiritual stance.

I have over the years developed besides other things an ability to step back/out of whatever life drama/news has  descended.. It is a bit like switching off… whereby my rational mind goes on autopilot giving me time to discern, take stock of the situation… I do this if time is an issue.

If time is not an issue I still step back/out but just ponder at a more agreeable pace while I go about my daily business and take time to draw my take an accurate as possible stock of the situation..

I really like the below words as they too help me deal with this emotion:

“Fearlessness is  the ability to remain soft and open, even under very difficult circumstances.
Most often, fear causes us to shut down to our own and others’ humanity.
We just want to get away, but the quickest way out is to stay.
If you can slow down a bit, you can see that fear rises, abides, and dissolves on its own.
Allowing this process is the mark of the spiritual warrior.
The coward turns attention toward fighting fear; the warrior accommodates it.”

Read more:

When I was little my mother taught me a prayer.
Two very important lines in it were regards God’s attributes:
“without hatred..
without fear.”
It was instilled in me in a way that I too should become like that..

When I was a teenager my father brought home some tea cups.
They were just ordinary white cups with a blue coat of arms with the following words on them:-
Be Just and Fear Not.

Drinking tea every morning out of one of these cups,

reading the “mantra” on it, as my hands clasped the warmth the cup emitted,

before stepping out in to the often cold English mornings and marching off to school was

a soul strengthening process.. (I did not like school.)

I am very grateful to my parents endeavours to educate me spiritually etc.. as it helped turn me into a fairly tough spirit with a just about respectable amount of fearlessness.  😉

Yes….tough enough to face the onslaught of a debilitating illness while in my early teens
Tough enough to actually get through uni despite being in constant pain…
Tough enough to face death threats due to my choice in partner..etc

These toughening up experiences also caused me to hold justice and fearlessness high in my adult value system…

Looking at societies and cultures etc you see how much manipulation goes on through lack of justice and the noose of fear.

So I have this need/hunger to know all that is going on around me so I can form my just/truthful conclusions according to my understanding fearlessly.. (However I do bear in mind that each individuals understanding is very limited as we know so little about life the universe etc).

Applying that to the world today, I don’t fear the information that is out there.. conspiracy theories and otherwise..
I choose not to be scared by it. I am more like a shadow observer..

It seems to me that people react to conspiracy theories in a number of ways. (Fear and alarm often lurks in the background :-/  )

Here are a few that I have observed:
1) Those who will not believe
2) Those who will believe without investigating further, deeper
3) Those who will bury their head in the sand
4) Those who will attack the bringer of the information because the information threatens their personal interest/s e.g status, monetary etc
5) Those who will attack the bringer of the information because the actual information is too off their radar or too scary to face
6) Those who will live breath conspiracy theories 24 hours in a state of fear panic and spreading panic
7) Those who will live breath conspiracy theories 24 hours in a state of relative peace..knowing this information may be important to take on board and share (very few do that)
8) Those who live regular lives but dip into the alternative news media/conspiracy theorists etc information whenever their circumstances permit.. bit like me 😉

I sure am glad that at least some folks are putting forward their ideas, their hunches as regular media is more or less owned by the very people who have herded humanity to its present position.. …

For example last week, I saw aeroplanes toeing and frowing across the sky and at one point their chemtrails formed such a dense cloud that it literally blocked out the sun.
I have seen a number of “conspiracy type videos on chemtrails” but one or two stand out and things add up, so I am mighty grateful that there are people who “lay down their jobs, careers, personal safety and security” to get the just version of events, out in the public arena for those who are willing to look and take on board.

I think people like Bill Ryan, David Icke do a great job. I don’t necessarily agree with all their material but it is food for thought.

Anyway friends, do not get “bogged down” with the challenging stuff 24 hours, week after week etc .. save your energy for when you really may need to dig deep… Like those in war torn zones etc…

All the best to you allxx

I wrote the above article yesterday and I was going to publish it last night, I did not as I was feeling a bit under the weather.. I was woken up this morning by a dream in which I heard a desperate scream. It was a child screaming “MUMMY!” I woke up really upset..

I was getting back to feeling ok when I went on the computer and saw the news..

Well…. my prayers and love for all who are waking upto pain and loss xxxxxx

I love my family SOOOO MUCH!!!

Hi, I am back from visiting my family in England and my batteries are fully RECHARGED!!

I went because my mum was feeling unwell.. 😦 and it left me feeling lost and sad… When I got there I saw she has been poorly but I also saw how beautifully she is cared for..  I see so many old people being left alone by their families that I thanked my lucky stars… my mum is a very lucky lady 🙂

I am sitting here chilling with an amazing cuppa and my friend Fifi is waiting for me outside. So I better hurry and just say what I have to.

A very humongous, heartfelt thankyou to my brother and sis inlaw who do an AMAZING job of looking after mum.

Much love and good wishes are beamed at them because they are such very very special people 🙂

I went to give off myself instead I recieved sooo much love..

So a big fluffy cloud of gratitude is going their way 🙂

My mummy is my angel and I wish her soooo much peace and love too..xx

Last but not least I’d like to mention my sis who visited me too along with my niece and nephews.. I love you allx

I hope you all also have wonderful souls in your lives who stand by you when needed xxx

Oh my GOD! Thieves caught in the act by my hubby!

I have just had a phone call from D (my hubby) to say that as he returned to our farm after dropping us off at our apartment, he was making his way to the house when he saw two men acting suspiciously by the river. ( 22:30 pm approx)

They had untied the ladder we use to cross the river with, and they were using it to “cross the river” at another location. He told them to put it back. One ran off and the other put it back. He turned his back for a while and the second man ran off into the dark too.

At this point he called me and I called the neighbouring farm’s son who  went running down with another brother and sister. Their dog ran after one of the men…. Don’t know what happened….. bitten bum/leg I guess..  😉

It was at this point that one of the son’s noticed 6 sacs filled with possibly their avocados!!

The thieving scoundrels!

I wanted to go to bed early but I am waiting to hear from D as to what has happened?

I said the police should be called but I think my neighbour’s were not sure…

Ok, I wrote the above very early Saturday morning.. heres what happened next..

My neighbours boys were joined by another neighbour and his gun :-/  They went off in the dark hunting down these fugitives!

They had a hunch who it might be so they turned up at their farm and lo behold they were not there! However their car was ready with the back seats folded down as if they may be putting some goodies into the back?

The police were called and they reckoned it was the same folks too.. Two middle-aged men with some negative habits and no earning potential… Local petty criminals..

Wonder how the police will proceed from this point??

Happy birthday to the one who inspired me to start this blog

Some of you may recall I started this blog when I found out that someone I love dearly was seriously ill.

Anyway it is her birthday today and although I don’t think she visits this blog much due to her circumstances I want to wish her soooo much love,  and gratitude for the very beautiful friendship she has given me that spans nearly 3 decades.

I am also sending her enormous healing energy to combine with her own powerhouse stance to achieve balance in her body again.

Many blessings to you

“Girl with the diamond eyes”

🙂 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 🙂