Love, what is it?Posted: August 2, 2010
One night about 14 years ago I had a dream that I went to see a higher being/angel…(My friend Raj took me there)
This male higher being was sitting down on the floor in a almost meditative yet aware state, when I entered the room. He slowly and calmly raised his head to look up at me and shot his steady gaze at me capturing my eyes and attention like prey.
My eyes got “lost” in his eye balls which were a mesmerisingly beautiful kaleidoscopic mixture of teardrop shaped red and green and the love that I felt emanating from them in and around me at that point was so deep so immense that it seemed a million times stronger than any love I had ever felt on Earth before.
Even my love for my parents, husband, children seemed to be insignificant compared to this.
When the dream ended I felt I was living a lie. I felt immense sadness yet joy at what I had experienced.
I tried to hang on to the memory of that feeling but I could not. This brought me melancholy for months despite a “knowing” that that feeling was real and I would experience it at some future either in this life or beyond this human life.
This experience strengthened me at a deep level and I became more “patient” with life. I was not so stuck in the drama of life, no matter what my circumstances. Infact I started to view me (as the soul/ real me) and Jatinder (as the physical “garment”/ not so important) As the years have gone by my understanding appears to have improved in this matter. I am much calmer and at peace with me and Jatinder. I understand a number of core matters that niggled me before.. e.g’s
Pain will eventually go
Excessive superficial fun will eventually go
Youth will go and that is fine
Life will leave Jatinder one day. (I have been told the time and date in a lucid dream early in the morning/ amrit velay.)
But even the weaker version of love experienced by me will always be there….only to grow and get stronger as I grow spiritually and more.
It was as if I had been shown a higher love that is hidden, missing, forgotten misplaced from me and most humanity of today. Maybe there are a few who do experience this higher love?
Also it made me think, do we all experience love at different “unique depths” depending on our spiritual awareness or something else..?
I tried to understand how come I had this dream… I was not on any drugs (legal or illegal…) The only explanation for this profound dream was my state of spirit.
I was going inwards immensely to come to terms with living with the disability and pain of rheumatoid arthritis and all the symptoms that had no labels, like cancer etc yet. And watching my daughter in a tortured state daily, looking like an open wound most of the time.
She had the most chronic eczema I had ever seen.
Most days after crying and scratching on and off all night she would wake up eat and start crying again. I would sit with her in my arms for hours trying to distract her with videos, toys, stories that I made up of the top of my head… stories she came to like very much…
Thankfully there was ALWAYS an abundance of love for her and I always sensed that abundance around me too..
Infact in another dream I saw an endless supply of love, gushing out of my chest at tremendous force almost like a torrent of water coming out at high pressure…? That love eventually pulled us through along with some great knowledge.
I sometimes wonder:
What is it and where does it come from and why…
Do we all experience it exactly the same?
Do we all feel it the same….
Why is it that some of us just give, give, give love and others show the lack of it as if it has gone out of fashion and yet others who are happy to recieve, recieve and recieve, yet are very tight when handing it out…..
Are there different levels of love deppending on anyones unique state of civillization/spirit/conscience….
For me love is a feeling but it is not a sense like hot and cold…these are physical feelings. So love is a non physical feeling/sense.
For me love is a special energy which humanity has not yet learnt to measure as it can electrical energy for example..but understanding its importance is crucial for humanity to move forward at all levels.
For me pure love energy has an intellect.. a will….a positivity about it. For example when I am mad with my kids my mouth is yelling rage my eyes are spitting fire at them yet above all that is a very calm tranquil feeling emanating towards them and it is beyond the physical, emotional, mental. Some would say spiritual.
Could it be that every being is at a unique place spiritually so the love they project will be a reflection of that state. That love is the best they have to offer at that stage of their spiritual development…?
So what is beyond spirit? I don’t want to use the G word because I don’t feel comfortable with the way this energy has been labelled by most faiths ..
Male, White Beard, Angry, To be feared, White Skinned , Judgemental … NO these are human traits borne from the lower physical, emotional and mental bodies…
I believe beyond these bodies there is this huge intelligent energy. Positive beyond words… And it is Pure LOVE and it is connected to everything.. It is resonace, it is vibe of everything. Every atom is simply a resonance….. When any noise is said calmly e.g the vowels as a Mantra you can feel the resonance entering you…it leaves you feeling at peace… what is that …..?
If I go back to my dream could it be that the profound love that I felt in that dream was not the regular weak version emanating from my spirit but from somewhere beyond my normal spiritual state…. Could that describe why some beings such as Buddha could turn his back to his loved ones and go in search for that higher love because he had had a taste of it under the Bodh Tree…