God be in my head

God be in my head, and in my understanding;
God be in my eyes, and in my looking;
God be in my mouth, and in my speaking;
God be in my heart, and in my thinking;
God be at my end, and at my departing.

I read the above in a poetry book at school at the age of eight/ nine.

We had just come from India to live in England and I was bullied and beaten mercilessly.

I could not for the life of me understand the hatred and disgust some of the white kids would beam at me as they spat out the word Paki. The Black kids would do the same except the word was Khoolie and the two other Indian girls who could speak English  fluently would actually pay (with sweets and money) other kids to bully me however they fancied.

One of them one day just for the hell of it poked me with a pencil in my arm. It somehow got tattooed on my arm… I still have a black spot there 42 years later. These and a few very personal experiences taught me there is no such thing as “Your own Kind”. There is Ignorance or there is Light. That’s it.

I vowed I would always rise above this type of behaviour, stick up for the “underdog”…and find strength in Love/God.

This attitude/passion has served me well in this life as it has been the greatest spiritual teacher. That is not to say it has not come with pain…It has come with IMMENSE pain because humanity is sometimes so far from love…

It seems… Humanity’s understanding of love, respect, responsibility appears to be at a most primitive state. A state in which I feel uncomfortable and a misfit.

The present  interpretation of religions by much of humanity does nothing to stem  the leaking of love out of our bodies and its replacement with fear, hate and ignorance.

Words that formed me-1

Ik o’nkaar  – God is One

Sat-naam   – Of  True  Name

karta-purkh   – The Creator

Nir-bhau    – The Fearless

Nir-vair   – Without Enmity

Akaal-moorat – The Immortal

Ajooni   – The Unborn

Sai-bha’ng  – Self-illuminated

Gur-parsaad – By the grace of the Guru

Jap   – Recite

Aad-sach   – True in the beginning

Jugaad-sach  – True through ages

hai bhi sach  – True at present

Nanak hosi bhi sach – Nanak says True for always

This prayer/Mool mantra has run through my physical and spiritual veins from my conception and besides other things it taught me 2 very important feelings to always gravitate towards and nurture in myself and those around me.

To not hate

To be fearless

My moto is to practice this where it counts, where I may have to stick my neck out or stand alone. To not hate or fear is me being the person I can respect. Anything less is…just not worth thinking about.


I am feeling really overjoyed, happy, excited because yesterday a dear school friend (Cristiano) put me in touch with a long lost cousin!!!!!!!!!!!

I just read a message from her and I am having a girly OMG!, OMG! moment…….Thus the pink writing (heart chakra!)  🙂

I have had NO communication with her in almost 30 years…..

This cousin along with her 3 sisters formed a major part of my childhood, in Nottingham UK  and then their parents decided to make a new life in Canada… and we lost touch.

“Why?”  I hear you ask … oh just lots of  circumstances…

From my point of view, I decided to keep a low profile because my  marriage out of the “system” would have reflected negatively on my cousins and  I did not want that. ( The two eldest were married very soon after they got to Canada…. )

So I waited till they got in touch with me….

And its happened…

I did that with all my relatives… its a respect thing…

I did what I felt was right for me but I had a duty to then respect that fortunately or unfortunately every culture has its rules and regulations… and women usually come out worst for ware… so I needed to protect those that were still inside the system…

It may be hard for some to understand this… I make no apology that some things about the culture I was born into (Sikh Indian culture) are negative but don’t let that negate everything.

Many things are absolutely marvellous and people of the West would do well to take on board many of their positive values….

Last but not least, those  of us who have grown up in the West but have this heritage, should not lose all the positive values, just discard the crap.. like I have 🙂